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Are You a Member of the B.O.B. Club?
Are you a man who feels unappreciated or like a beast of burden? If so, here’s your way out of the B.O.B. Club… – – – See the author’s TEDx Talk on Creating Extraordinary Intimacy in a Shut Down World...
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‘Nice Guy’ Evolution in a #MeToo Revolution: A Journey from Victimization to...
Embed from Getty Images — There’s so much that men cannot understand about the experience of women. It can, therefore, be challenging for us to really get the significance of what’s happening in the...
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My Goal is to Live My Life as an Equal
Embed from Getty Images — The art of conversation is the bloodline of our human system of existence. Open and honest exchanges are needed in order to authentically communicate, to listen, to allow...
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The Pity Party is Over: The Journey from Victimization Back to Empowerment
Embed from Getty Images — The emotional weight you’ve been carrying around all this time has finally become unbearable. You’ve reached the edge and it feels like life’s backed you into a corner from...
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Men, Own Your Choices
Embed from Getty Images — You know what I really don’t like? When somebody I speak with or speak to blames me for their choices in life. Now, we can call that person a victim. We can call that person...
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Your Suffering Matters
— When we suffer, the worst part is often that we suffer alone. Experiencing emotional or physical pain—when no one else can feel it— is a lonely place to be. I think that’s one fundamental reason why...
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A Letter to Men From a Woman on Her Path of Becoming Sovereign
— Before reading this letter, I want to convey to you the depth of compassion and reverence I hold for the challenging task of being a conscious man in this day and age amidst the #metoo movement. I...
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How I Learned To Forgive and Take Responsibility for the End Of My Marriage
— During the initial stages of your divorce, you may hear many well-intentioned people talk about your need to forgive and take responsibility for your part in the failure of the relationship. If you...
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How to Stop Thinking the World is Against You
— Okay, so let’s just say several years ago I thought my life was cursed. I thought that whatever I did, or tried, or put my hands to turned to rubbish. I literally thought I couldn’t do anything...
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Sorry, Dad
Apology Earned or Apology Forced? A fellow parent once mentioned that “The Look” can be taught early on with children. It’s the quick, cold, and fierce glance that can stop them in their tracks....
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I Am Not a Victim But Hear Me Out
I have spent a lot of time in the last 13 years writing about, teaching, speaking, and training about domestic and dating violence. I have worked with victims directly, have coordinated many events,...
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Believing in the Story of Your Suffering
— Living my life thinking of my experiences in terms of stories and dramas has become second nature. It’s now easy for me to make the association that I only go into suffering when I tell an unhelpful...
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My Victory Over Victimhood
— This is part two in a two-part series about how I’ve navigated complex trauma. Click here to read part one: My journey Into And Out of Darkness. I was nearly 30 years old before finally waking up to...
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Life After Death
When I worked at Starbucks, I met a widow who lost her husband years ago. She was 5’5, weighed less than one-hundred pounds, lived out of her car, and always seemed depressed, angry, and apathetic....
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The Sickness of White Supremacy and Male Victimhood
The victim mindset is how male and white supremacists justify violence and murder. It’s the same poisonous frame employed by domestic violence abusers. “See what you made me do.” Male and white...
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Perpetuating Victimization
I spent seven years in an abusive marriage. I remember the day it escalated to the point where I realized I could not stay. I had gotten an angry threatening text from him while at work and I knew I...
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Wreckage on the Road to Reconciliation
You’re wounded and angry. Someone close to you, who should love you, hurt you instead. This person might be a parent, a sibling, a child, a friend, a partner, or a spouse. Whoever it is; where you...
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You Don’t Have to Be a Victim Anymore
Victim. That’s how I saw myself for three decades, only I didn’t realize it. I was a victim of depression and all the negative thoughts, falsehoods, and forces it entails. It grabbed a hold of me,...
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MAGA Nation Is Like a Psychology Textbook in Human Form
Virtually everything the American far-right says about others reveals itself. They’re like a walking, talking cult of psychological projection. Consider who’s really engaged in election fraud Those...
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Victimhood Can Be Just as Addictive as Nicotine
by Jason Samatas Yesterday I had a conversation with my father. Over the course of my life, I’ve had a very challenging relationship with him, which was further complicated due to my working for his...
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